How a father’s struggle to understand his son’s autism led him back to school

SINGAPORE - When kindergarten teachers first told Mr Jason Tan that his son, Isaac, was “slower in learning”, he did not think much of it.

As a first-time parent, he assumed it was part of normal childhood development and believed his son would eventually catch up.

But the extent of Isaac’s struggles became clear in Primary 3 when formal examinations were introduced.

Said Mr Tan, a 48-year-old IT professional: “He couldn’t even pass (his exams), and that pushed us to go and find out whether Isaac had some needs we were not aware of.”

Mr Tan said Isaac struggled with English comprehension and more advanced mathematical problems. He also noticed that his son began to pluck out his own hair, which the family initially attributed to stress.

After a private assessment, Isaac was formally diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder and mild intellectual disability at the age of eight.

Mr Tan said that while receiving the diagnosis brought clarity, there was also uncertainty about what to do next.

“To be honest, at the time, (my wife and I) did not know what autism really was,” he said. “We thought maybe he was just slow... We had no direction, and we didn’t know whom to ask.”

Hoping that the learning delay was temporary, Mr Tan asked if Isaac could repeat Primary 3.

The school declined as he was doing well in other subjects such as Mandarin. Mr Tan also wanted to give his son a chance to remain in a mainstream school environment, as the family was unsure about the severity of his condition.

But as the school year passed, Isaac began pacing around the classroom and showing signs of restlessness, while distracting his peers.

Mr Tan said he did not expect educators to put in “extra, extra effort”, noting that mainstream classes typically have teacher-to-pupil ratios of 1:40.

Still, the school helped by arranging one-to-one sessions during maths lessons and granting Isaac an extra 10 minutes during exams.

By Primary 5, Isaac had moved to taking foundational-level subjects, but he ultimately failed his Primary School Leaving Examination.

The school’s special educational needs officer and its leaders, as well as an educational psychologist from the Ministry of Education, suggested that Isaac attend a special education (SPED) school.

Because the administrative paperwork concluded late in the year, Isaac returned to his mainstream primary school for the first two months of the new academic year before his transfer was officially approved.

In March 2023, Isaac transferred to APSN Katong School in Bedok at the age of 13. Mr Tan said the change in environment was immediate and profound.

The classroom ratio became an intimate 1:10 or 1:12, and the curriculum was simpler and focused on practical, vocational training, alongside simplified maths and English.

“After Isaac went to the SPED school, he became much happier,” Mr Tan said. “We can tell the difference because he stopped plucking his hair.”

A father’s new mission

Witnessing Isaac’s transformation inspired Mr Tan to learn more about autism and, more importantly, to better understand his son.

In 2025, he decided to enrol in the Specialist Diploma in Applied Autism Studies at Temasek Polytechnic (TP), graduating as part of the programme’s second cohort.

The year-long, part-time course was eye-opening for Mr Tan. During a workplace learning attachment at the Rainbow Centre, he observed how some children relied on pictorial schedules to communicate, while others used assistive technologies.

In 2026, he went on to pursue another year-long qualification, the Specialist Diploma in Adult Disability Practice at TP. This new programme focuses on the “post-18” landscape, equipping caregivers and professionals with the skills to support individuals with physical and intellectual disabilities in transitioning into open and independent employment.

Mr Tan said he is considering a career switch to the social services sector to work directly in the field.

Ultimately, every step he has taken has been out of devotion to his son. Isaac, 16, is now in Secondary 4.

“As he grows into adulthood, one day, we as parents won’t be around for him,” said Mr Tan, whose wife works in training administration. They also have a 10-year-old son.

“So I want to support him to let him at least go into the workforce, be independent.”

Mr Tan hopes that Isaac can develop his interests in art and music. Over the years, Isaac has been selected to take part in several art projects, including designing the National Day tote bag in 2024 and contributing to an SMRT art showcase in the same year.

Isaac joined Shaping Hearts, an arts festival showcasing work done by people with disabilities, in 2025. He also plays the violin and drums.

Mr Tan hopes to support other families going through similar situations like his.

“If God leads, I will go into doing something more for (parents) because I think some parents are also like me – not knowing where to go and not knowing where to get support,” he said.